we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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