I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
