How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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