Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
