i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
