Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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