so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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