I need help removing her.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
