I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
