so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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