did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You can't special order awesome
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
