Already got asked if we're dating
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize