Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
