i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
