if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I deserve this hangover.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
