i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
