Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
