If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
