So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
