I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
