She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
