I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
