We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
