I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
