i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
