I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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