If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
