So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
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I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
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He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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