I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
