no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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