When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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