gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
