Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
send nudes
from the living room?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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