too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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