yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he was CRYING into my vagina
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
