I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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