If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
