If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
