Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We are all done wearing pants today
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize