so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
how do flat chested girls get laid?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
