just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
