pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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