She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize