I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
