What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
