I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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