Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
