grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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