You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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