so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
