its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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