i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
