i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
birth control should be required to get into college
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My vagina just clenched in fear
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
