Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
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the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
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Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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