Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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