White coat. Heels.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm getting married
To pizza
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
