His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
