and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
