So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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