I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
