is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
