Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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