I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
